For the anti-maskers

Originally published June 18, 2015.

I hate wearing N95 masks because they make me feel even hotter and sweatier than I already do living in a hot and sweaty climate.

Sure they save me from a premature death, but there's a part of me that scoffs at the idea that a thin sheet of gauze is going to be able to stop fate in its tracks. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Pardon me, my fatalism is showing.

Speaking of talismans, I much prefer these old Chinese ones for little children: hats and shoes bearing likenesses of tigers, cats and dogs, all animals possessed of a superior ability to detect and devour the evil spirits that had the young wearers in their crosshairs.

Who knows if they worked, but at least they were a lot more pleasing to look at. Just kidding. Obviously.